An unexpected masterpiece...
DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson
CAST: The best one from 'The Office', Mag-fucking-neto, Morris Armitage, the previously annoying Irish actor who seems to be in EVERYTHING, Doctor Who, Queen Elizabeth I, Old Bilbo, Count Dooku, Megatron, King Kong, the cannibal from 'Sin City' and a fuck load of dwarves!
PLOT: Based on J. R. R. Tolkien's well-loved novel, 'The Hobbit', who goes by the name of 'Bilbo Baggins', has his arm twisted by a big wizard and a group of dwarves, blackmailed essentially, to join them on a big adventure to kill a dragon and reclaim the dwarves home. Poor guy.
I really don't know why people, my stupid self included, continue to doubt the undeniable genius that is Peter Jackson. 'Lord of the Ring is unfilmable!' they cried, 'King Kong shouldn't be remade, you hairy prick!' they bellowed. He not only silences the doubters, he slaps their foolish faces, the cynics have to leave the cinema with their tails between their legs. I was one of those cynics. The only difference is, I'm too much of a douche to feel like an idiot. I had a big grin on my face as I left the cinema as I recalled the images of one of the best cinematic experiences of the year.
I'm not going to get into the debate about the higher frame rate business as I saw it in good old fashioned 24 fps. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the idea of a higher frame rate. Quite the contrary actually; if I had it my way I would have seen 'The Hobbit' in IMAX 3D with the higher frame rate out of curiosity, the whole shebang - as Peter Jackson intended it to be seen. But I'm at my parents' home for Christmas, and their local cinema doesn't have IMAX or the option to see films with the higher frame rate. In fact, their local cinema only has two screens, one of which is about the size of your living room. That's right folks, my parents live in Middle-earth. I'm not complaining though, it only costs £3 to see a film there. So with that in mind, I will focus on 'The Hobbit' for what it is - a film.
And as far as films go, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the latest holiday advertisement for Middle-earth is one of my favourite films of the year. Many thought that by adapting 'The Hobbit' into three films, which isn't that long of a novel, was a sort of cash-grab by the makers. Even though I've never read the novel, it seemed plausible. I've seen the novel on shelves, it wouldn't exactly be considered thick. But Jackson has told us all time and time again that it was a creative choice to drag the novel over three films, and long films at that. Now I've seen the first of three, I do believe that Mr. Jackson was telling the truth. It's not as if he needs the money, is it?
This is because 'The Hobbit' never gets boring. During the expositional opening sequences which are accompanied by voiceover to tell us the X Factor sob story of how the downtrodden dwarves had their home repossessed by a posh dragon, I thought that this journey was going to be overlong and make my arse ache. But once the story stopped dwelling on the past (don't get me wrong, though - it was needed to set the story) the film was an exciting tale on every level imaginable which will make you believe that you're a dwarf on the journey as well, even without the 3D - the sign of a great film and an amazing story that has stood the test of time.
Everything fits - the pacing is well done, it plods along nicely to get some character backstory in The Shire, but once the journey begins, the set-pieces and epic locations come and go quickly, but not so much that you feel disoriented. The action scenes are some of the best you will see all year. Everyone involved display action chops, with stand out sequences against trolls and goblins. More than once did the hairs on my arms stand up and my spine tingled in exhilaration. And the special effects do justice to the budget, making Middle-earth and its inhabitants (notably the Great Goblin) looking better than ever.
The new characters introduced to Middle-earth are all welcome. Every dwarf (apart from maybe the one with the axe stuck in his head) gets a lot to do, and has their moments to shine. Richard Armitage is the chief dwarf, and he gives a strong performance as the little hard bastard with a stiff-upper lip.
Martin Freeman is perfectly cast as the titular character (something I don't think anyone ever doubted). Freeman's uncanny blend of self-depreciation and sarcasm suits the character well to get some laughs from the adults as the dwarves will most probably garner laughs from the young.
Although, Ian McKellen, a joy to watch in every single thing he appears in, threatens to steal the show. His screen presence demands your attention. His voice echoes when he shouts orders to the dwarves, making dialogue like 'FIGHT!' and 'RUN!' seem more epic than imaginable, it's impossible not to feel strong surges of emotion.
The only other character competing to be the most memorable would be, you guessed it, Andy Serkis' Gollum. He is as terrifying as ever, and Serkis once again successfuly strains to prove that performance capture is just as important as live action perfomances, and maybe even more demanding. It can't be easy to act whilst dressed in a wet suit covered in stickers. The scene where Bilbo and Gollum trade riddles is enticing and full of suspense, even though you know how it will inevitably end.
Don't be put off my the doubters. Give it a go, and if you do take a chance on the higher frame rate, and it does prove to be a shitty gimmick, just take solace in the fact that this is an amazing story told in a cinematically beautiful way. Now excuse me, while I go and revisit Middle-earth with the LOTR trilogy.
* * * * ½
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