Elysium

"Where are the fucking prawns?"

                                                     'Maybe I should grow my hair...'

DIRECTOR Neill Blomkamp

CAST: Zoo owner, Clarice Staling, and South African "Howling Mad" Murdock...

PLOT: After getting a full blast of radiation poisoning, 'Max' ("Matt Damooooon") decides that he must get to a medical bay to cure himself of said poisoning. The only issue is, said medical bay is on a spherical space station inhabited by the rich that absorbs Earth named 'Elysium'... said.

Expectations were obviously high for Neill Blomkamp's follow-up to the critically acclaimed 'District 9'. These high expectations were then escalated when the explosive trailer for 'Elysium' arrived and promised more thunderous action sequences, selfish intentions and vague political commentary. All of the above were certainly delivered, but not quite to the same standard as 'District 9' treated us to. This doesn't seem as adventurous or fresh, it instead touches on formula in an attempt to appeal to more mainstream audiences. But some films will never be bettered, and when you could argue that Blomkamp perhaps peaked too soon in his directorial career, if you remember not to compare the two films, which can be quite difficult, then you will have a wholly enjoyable time at the cinema.

But despite aiming for a wider audience, with the lack of a verite filming style and a score that often rings out like 'Inception', what I was thrilled to see was more accounts of extreme violence and exhilarating action sequences with wonderfully destructive futuristic weaponry from Blomkamp, something he thankfully can't seem to leave behind. The violence is at times unflinching and quite shocking, usually delivered to us by the thorn in Matt Damon's side - the brilliantly deranged Sharlto Copley as a mercenary named 'Kruger' on the hunt for Damon's mechano-man. Copley is the purest sort of evil; an example of complete psychopathy that has no reasoning behind it. Whenever he's on the screen the tension and the excitement is turned up, anticipating awesome action and brutality. Jodie Foster's villain is child's play in comparison, despite being satisfyingly pretentious.

However, despite the fact that you will probably root for Copley, that's not to say that Damon doesn't deliver a good performance. As always, he's exceedingly likable and can handle himself well in the fight scenes, which will come to no surprise to 'Bourne' fans. It's a new look for Damon - with the slap head and a lot more stacked than the leaner 'Bourne', but this is your typical reliable Damon performance. His character doesn't have the most surprising arc throughout the narrative, but sometimes keeping a character's story simple is as good as applying complicated motives - the fight for survival is the most primal and important to anyone.

                                                      'Maybe I should get a haircut...'

The socio-politcal messages are thin, probably so as not to alienate too many viewers. The rich vs poor is spelled out, but other aspects could be read into more - such as the fact that inhabitants of 'Elysium' mainly speak French, and inhabitants of LA speak a lot of Spanish. But 'Elysium' is here for the fun - how else can it not be when your favourite character will be the deliciously evil 'Kruger'? Much like 'Elysium' itself, this serves as a fantastic joyride of escapism. 

Everything combines to make this a satisfying science-fiction romp; but what really stands out is Blomkamp's impressive visual style, some of which will remind of 'District 9'. It's dirty and dusty, making the futuristic Los Angeles look like a frightening realistic mix of Rio de Janeiro and his birthplace of Johannesburg. Blomkamp manages to keep most of the techniques and aspects intact that made 'District 9' a modern science-fiction classic. 

'Elysium is a much more formulaic and generic outing from Blomkamp, but it never lacks talent, excitement and entertainment, cementing him as one of the most promising directors about today. It might not be the best film of the year, but it's certainly one of strongest blockbusters, adding a lot of heart and a bit of brains to the summer's cinematic proceedings. Plus, how often do you get to root for a villain who is as purely evil as Copley's 'Kruger'?

* * * *

Kick-Ass 2

"Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?"

                                                 You came to the wrong porno, friend

DIRECTOR: Jeff Wadlow

CAST: Aaron Taylor-Johnson's roid-rage, future Carrie, emo McLovin, Ace Ventura, Hot Tub Time Machine guy, a different guardian, racial "archetypes", Sid the Sloth, Turk with a lisp, the dude from the best episode of Black Mirror, a different Todd :(, Ser Jorah Mormont, Chuck Liddell, and Union fucking J...

PLOT: In the sequel to the psychotically fun Kick-Ass, the titular DIY superhero attempts to get to grips with life as a crimefighter, whilst Hit-Girl attempts to get to grips with life as a regular girl in high school. Meanwhile, Christopher Mintz-Plasse vows to get rid of all of the superheroes as his alter-ego - The Motherfucker.

When news broke that Matthew Vaughn wouldn't be directing the sequel to one of my all-time favourite films, I wept. Not literally of course - I'd already done my fair share due to the demise of Big Daddy. It seems to be a trend with the brilliant director. He makes a cracking film and then ditches the resulting franchise to start another. The X-Men franchise is comfortably in the safe hands of the proven Bryan Singer, but would the future of Kick-Ass lie in promising hands? 

Well, we were given a lifeline as Vaughn was allowed to choose his own writer/director for the project. 'Brilliant!' we were all thinking, 'surely he'd pick a terrific director - someone who he holds in high regard!' You can imagine our frustration when he chose the man whose last film before Kick-Ass 2 was Never Back Down - Jeff Wadlow.

Never fucking Back Down. 

It was important not to be too hasty, though - let's not be prejudice. Never Back Down may have had as many layers as a two-dimensional shape, but when it came to people punching each other, it was well-crafted and confident action filmmaking. Perhaps with a decent screenwriter, he could create something that could live up to Matthew Vaughn's deluded masterpiece. 

Jeff Wadlow was also named as screenwriter... shit.

And that's unfortunately where Kick-Ass 2 often falls flat. It's still got some fantastic one-liners and wickedly offensive humour - it's not often that you get to hear the word 'cunt' in Russian. But it's all of the talking in between the insults and the ass kicking that is tiresome; the exposition is flat and laboured, often repeating itself with many of the messages recited to us in Kick-Ass' first outing, and the use of voiceover even manages to outdo the predecessor when it comes to laziness. 

This runs parallel with a plot that is thin and uneven, the pacing miles off the snappy first film that managed to hit all of the right notes. This outing frequently manages to merge too many scenes into one mess, not helped by its convolution with too many characters (something that can be forgiven in the source material) and two stories that are competing for screen-time and quality - Kick-Ass' life as a superhero, Hit-Girl's life as a teenage-girl in high school.

It's definitely the latter that wins us over. This is very much Hit-Girl's show and Chloe Grace Moretz continues to take cinema by storm, often giving acting lessons to much older, more experienced actors. She's endearing and electrifying as everyone's sweary little girl, but now she's growing up she is burdened by the ever-lasting interest of bullies and being attracted to the opposite sex in high school. You're constantly egging her on to kick the shit out of everyone who crosses her in the corridors, but due to conflicting promises and needs, it doesn't come that easily to her, making her the person that we care about. She composes the emotional beats despite the fact that the film never hits the emotional heights as the first Kick-Ass which Nicolas Cage's Adam West spoof gets "owned".

The cinematography is too bright, sugar-coated and fake; looking as if it could expose its green screen behind the foreground action to reveal that the New York backdrops are, shock-horror Mr. Carrey, fake! This is probably due to the surprisingly low-budget ($2 million below the first Kick-Ass), considering the first was a successful hit. It could be argued that it's attempting to go for a comic book style, but why fix something that isn't broken? The first Kick-Ass nailed the colours, the look, the feel. This overboard fakeness highlights the two-dimensional story - deaths aren't fully felt, they're merely shrugged off as inconveniences by the time that the next scene has come around; there isn't enough repercussions when something doesn't go our heroes' way (Kick-Ass' girlfriend is conveniently dismissed earlier on, and despite how hot she is he couldn't give a shit!); and there are plot holes, such as David Lizewski (Kick-Ass) and Mindy Macready (Hit-Girl) discussing the importance of keeping their superheroic identities secret... whilst sat in the back of a taxi. 

                                       Jim Carrey being violent, whether he wants to or not 

But if you're watching this for masterful storytelling and award-winning cinematography, then you're certainly doing it wrong. The sooner you realise the quality of this piece of filmmaking isn't going to better what Matthew Vaughn can create, and you begin to relax, the better. Because I seriously doubt that anyone involved in Kick-Ass 2 gives a fuck. They don't care - the filmmaking might be well-below par, but it's almost as fun as the 2010 hit.

At a glance that still might not appear complimentary, but when you consider how much mind-blowing awesomeness and fun came with the first Kick-Ass, almost hitting the same level is still a reasonable achievement for Wadlow and company. The action is wild, over-the-top and full of gore. Despite no scenes living up to scenes from the first film, such as Hit-Girl destroying everyone via night-vision, or destroying everyone to the tune of Bad Education, it's still some of the best action and the most mental experiences you could ask for in a cinema this year.

However, despite all of the enjoyability from Aaron Taylor-Johnson's likability, Chloe Grace Moretz's charisma and Christopher Mintz-Plasse's magnificently named, gimpish supervillainy, there are some aspects that this film cannot mask. The addition of Jim Carrey's Colonel Stars and Stripes, replacing Nicolas Cage's Big Daddy as the father figure to our inexperienced heroes, is short-lived and criminally underused. He never poses the same threat or intrigue as Nicolas Cage managed in the predecessor.

And certainly worst of all, is the music. It's not bad, by any means. It's just generic at times, and lacking the quality of the soundtrack we were treated to by Vaughn. There's no Elvis, no Prodigy, no Joan Jett. We instead get Union J. It may have been used as a slightly amusing narrative tool, but that doesn't really give anyone the excuse to assault our ears with Union J. The audience's adrenaline will never rise to the glitzy heights of Kick-Ass fighting thugs with Omen blazing in the background.

However, despite all of the bad aspects, you will be sat there with a semi-insanical grin on your face as you watch the wackiness unfold. It's still got bags of energy and enthusiasm which will transfer itself to the audiences. Just try not to compare it to Kick-Ass too much, else the negatives will seem greater and you'll instead be wishing to watch the predecessor throughout the duration (as soon as I got home, I whacked it on). With talks of a third now that the comic books are being released, it's difficult to see where this franchise will go. A spin-off for Hit-Girl, by far the best character, would be the best option. Whatever happens, I'll be looking forward to it, but with a slight anxiety.   

* * * 

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

Aheeeeeee!... Wait, that's not right

                            Not the police officer you want knocking on your door to deliver bad news

DIRECTOR: Declan Lowney

CAST: The shit director from Tropic Thunder, the pilot from Die Hard 2, a man who is going to be in a film that is literally called The 4th Reich, fake John Cleese, and a Geordie... 

PLOT: Alan Partridge is back, and when his Irish co-worker is fired from North Norfolk Digital after the company is taken over by a company that wants to make it fresh and new, he drinks some Guinness (presumably) and takes his fellow DJ's hostage. The only person who he will negotiate with during the siege is, you guessed it, Alan himself. What could possibly go right?

Alan Partridge is perhaps the epitome of marmite, up there with the likes of the comedy stylings of Ricky Gervais and Little Britain - his comedic style is equally loved and hated by many of the British public. But the sign of a true heavyweight of comedy is definitely the ability to split people down the middle. It's much easier to be seen as simply adequate in the eyes of many, but a lot braver to make comedy that will be die-hardedly followed by some, and sneered at by others. 

But that all contributes to make Alan Partridge one of the most celebrated characters of British comedy since his birth on radio over twenty years ago. And at the end of the day, much of the audience of Partridge's first ever big-screen outing must have already been set in stone prior to pre-production. There will be those who flock to the cinema, and those that intentionally avoid it at all costs. 

Then there's those who have little or no experience of Steve Coogan's creation, such as myself. Aside from seeing a few episodes of Alan Partridge sitcom I'm Alan Partridge years and years ago with my dad, the last series of which was made in 2002, I am no expert on the character.

However, I am an expert on comedy... or at least I like to think that I am.

                                   The Norfolk annual Fun Run advertisement paid for its typo... 

The biggest challenge for Coogan and company was to make a satisfying transfer of Alan Partridge from radio and small screens to a much larger screen. It's fair to say that not even hardcore fans of the character were screaming for an Alan Partridge film from the rooftops, and there were worries about whether the character would be able to hold your attention for 90 minutes whilst providing a narrative and tone that still resonated with earlier Partridge works, and didn't get too 'Hollywood', if you will, and stick to its largely dull Norfolk roots.

When the picture opens with establishing shots of the Norfolk area, accompanied by the music from the experimental film Koyaanisqatsi, famous for being a morbid depiction of the state of our home planet due to humanity's lack of care and unrelenting assault on the world's resources, it does just that. It might not be laugh out loud funny, but when you're sat there with a huge grin on your face it's easy to forget that it's not often that establishing shots in a film can be so fucking hilarious - a genius stroke from the director and writers.

But it doesn't waste time with establishing shots - the film jumps straight into hilarity, wasting no time with getting the narrative running and giving our eponymous intelligent idiot a brief introduction by perfectly and beautifully miming to old school tunes on his way to work at the local radio station. A long introduction isn't needed, not even for those who have never heard of Alan Partridge, you already know what you need to know - he's a dick, albeit a funny one, but still a dick. You've probably got a similar friend - when he or she is in your company and yapping on about shit you don't care about, you're thinking to yourself 'what a fucking dick, I wish you'd go away'. But when they're no longer in your presence, you kind of miss them. You know who I mean. Although, if you don't, you're probably that person.

Shit.

Long time fans will be rewarded by spotting familiar faces and receiving long-running inside jokes. But if these are wasted on you, never fear, as the rate of gags isn't per minute - it's per seconds. Where a joke may fall flat with you, it won't be long until that's forgotten about and you're folding over with laughter again. You'll be quoting for days from the gut-wrenchingly funny dialogue, discussing what would happen if Judaism and Islam combined - "Jislam", for the record; and you'll be shouting "He's got a shooter!" at your friends. Or if you're a bit more serious you'll slap a mate as an SS soldier would. 

It's fair to say that the British are well and truly owning comedy this year, and this may very well be the best that is on offer if it wasn't to do with a certain apocalyptic ice cream flavour. This is Steve Coogan at his ruddy best, widening his appeal but not losing touch with what makes him a brilliant taste for the acquired. Accompanied by a solid story, morals that are positive and get the piss taken out of, and a thin exploration of the state of the radio industry that is being strangled out of all of its independence and individuality (also thankfully taken the piss out of), this is either a brilliant big-screen swan song for Alan Partridge, or the beginning of another media platform that will receive masterfully witty, laugh-inducing assault.

* * * * 

The Wolverine

The literal man of steel

                                                     "Man of adamantium, actually"

DIRECTOR: James Mangold

CAST: A singing French ponce, a red-haired alien, Poison Ivy, and Famke Janssen's cleavage...

PLOT: After being in the midst of the United States' nuclear bombing of Japan towards the end of World War II, 'The Wolverine' (Hugh Jackman) saves a Japanese soldier from inevitable annihilation. Over 60 years later, said Japanese soldier is dying, and requests to say goodbye to 'Logan' in person. Sounds like an uplifting, tear-jerking drama, doesn't it?

Oh yeah, and there's something to do with some rich girl getting kidnapped, the Yakuza, double-crossing, etc, etc. 

Soon after watching The Wolverine, I came up with a theory about certain superheroes. Superheroes that were victimised were both the indestructible Wolverine, and the equally indestructible Superman, who made his first successful (but in my opinion, underwhelming) big screen outing in quite some time this year. And here is that theory, whether you asked for it or not...

Due to the fact that these two immensely popular superheroes are essentially immortal, the writers of their respectable(?) films build overly convoluted plots that ultimately prove to be both incoherent and very fucking annoying. Rather than simply pitch our heroes against their foes in a more straightforward fashion that we would be accustomed to in Spider-Man, Batman and Iron Man films, the writers seem to feel the need to up the ante, in a narrative sense, to trick us all into believing that our hugely powerful superheroes are in danger. 

But they're not in danger. They're in no more danger than if you were to put them up in a straight-up fight with their enemy. Previous X-Men films have gotten past this issue because Valjean had to fight other mutants such as Magneto, a being capable of controlling the metallic Logan, and thus proving to be exciting and dangerous. Even the dismal Origins managed to set Logan some tough tests, such as his near-enough equal half-brother, Victor. But when The Wolverine has to deal with mere mortal human beings, the only danger that he is in is if his head were to explode.

Unfortunately, to reiterate, in the process the plots become convoluted, incoherent and very fucking annoying; and we would all really appreciate it if Logan turned Wolverine and began to hack and slash his mortal enemy. If the narrative is this stupid and the acting this poor (with the exception of the lovely Hugh Jackman), the only sensible route would be to turn the action up to eleven and delve into pure popcorn fodder fun. The Wolverine does not take this route; instead it's all po-faced and a lack of, what superheroes should be all about - fun.

                                                               "Deshi! Deshi! Basara!"

The film opens with Logan as a POW near Nagasaki during WWII. The atomic bomb falls and the sequence turns out to be hugely impressive. Soon after, he breaks a vow to never hurt anyone again... within about three minutes. And then, building on from the trailer that didn't exactly scream enthusiasm during the marketing campaign, our angry neighbourhood mutant puts the fun back into funeral. Yep - it looked as if we were going to get a great film.

However, before long, the film began to dive into its complicated messy story, as noted. And the supporting acting prowess wasn't as strong as what we are used to in Jackman's long career as The Wolverine, missing talent such as Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, or even Liev Schreiber. The supporters are brilliant when it comes to the action scenes, a fantastic one coming on top of a bullet train, but when they mumble through a plot that is equally indiscernible you'll be fighting the urge to replay First Class in your head again in an attempt to stay entertained.

The change of scenery is a breath of fresh air but it isn't a trick that is taken advantage of to its full potential. The oriental world of Japan goes with Wolverine as much as whips goes with chains. It's nice to see cool fights in traditional Japanese houses with thundery backdrops and establishing the location through showing the neon jungle that is Tokyo for all of five seconds, but the culture isn't fully immersed into, barely cracking its shell. It's a crime that the absurd climax didn't instead take place in a location that rings of Japan, instead regrettably indulging in formulaic bullshit.

Despite all of the double-crossing and the forced twists and turns, which are predictable, if not nonsensical, it's hard to care much about what is happening on screen when people aren't being killed. Making The Wolverine a lot more vulnerable than we are previously used to is inspired, it even went a fair distance to saving this from being a complete waste of time, but with strange insects and a Poison Ivy rip-off, you'll ask 'at what cost?' Surely it could have been done in a much better way. We were promised The Wolverine movie that we deserved. But the sad truth is at the end of the day is if Origins didn't exist, this would be seen as a total failure.

P.S. Stick around for a post-credits scene that will get you more excited than the entire film that you've just watched.

* * 

The World's End

Is the third cornet full of flavour?

                                       The Marauder's Map for alcoholics wasn't as popular

DIRECTOR: Edgar Wright

CAST: Thomson and Thomson, "ANDY!!!!", Bilbo Baggins, Inspector Lestrade, Miranda Frost, and a whole lot of other British cameos that I won't give away!

PLOT: The third and final edition to the Cornetto trilogy, and this time Wright, Pegg, Frost and co. are trying to complete an epic 12-pint pub crawl in the shitty 'little England' town of Newton Haven. Oh yeah, and they also get attacked by alien controlled robots posing as townsfolk...

There's just something brilliant about this trilogy of films. Both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz have the tendency to glue a stupid grin to your face throughout their entirety, as you witness a zombie getting hit with pool cues to the music of Queen, pensioners unloading shotguns in protest to human statues, and Simon Pegg struggling to hop fences. And despite The World's End not being quite as funny as its predecessors, it still manages to stick a big stupid grin on your face that will last long after the closing credits have finished rolling. It may be the least shiniest piece of gold, the least flavoursome ice cream, but it's still golden ice cream nonetheless.

Even though that this film doesn't quite hit the deluded comedic delights of zombies and murderous villagers, that's not to say that it isn't funny (it's easily the best comedy of the year so far). The sight gags aren't as frequent as what we have previously been used to, but this will be quoted by fans everywhere, with some fantastic lines cocnerning the likes of Legoland and Alexandre Dumas. 

But what is probably the most striking thing about the quintessentially British end of the world is the action sequences that Edgar Wright manages to impeccably craft. It shouldn't come as a surprise that Wright can shoot action, especially after Scott Pilgrim, but it will always be a surprise when some of the best action that you have seen in the cinema all year comes from a film that is advertised as a comedy. The fights often take place in a very few amount of shots (often in just the one), zigzagging about the pubs as Pegg tries to down a pint whilst being splattered with blue ink from the menacing robots. Who knew that Nick Frost beating the shit out of people with bar stools could be exciting enough to increase the heart rate and move your arse to the edge of your seat? 

                     Pretty much my face when I heard Batman will be appearing in a film with Superman

One of the ways that this series of films has proven to be so popular is how they all share a lot of themes and styles, such as growing up, having regrets, tolerating imperfections, etc. but still manage to feel fresh and new. The World's End is equipped with an awesome soundtrack, chock-a-block with pop culture references, lovably flawed characters and crazy action sequences. 

However, one of the most noticeable differences is the change of character types. We are used to seeing Nick Frost as the man-child liability and Simon Pegg as the reliable man-with-a-plan. These two roles are given a straight switch, and both actors show off their skills by proving that they can do either almost as well as the other. This time most of the laughs come from Pegg's Gary King, a man who is stuck in the past and failed to grow up, but who is also given his fair chunk of surprisingly uncomfortable backstory that elevates the drama - something that we know Pegg can do just as well as make you laugh. Pegg grabs the opportunity to let loose with both hands and gives it all that he's got, making a character who would be unlikable in lesser hands lovable, with impeccable comic timing and unwavering enthusiasm.

The supporting cast also pulls their weight, which is exactly what is to be expected considering the strength that they possess. Martin Freeman's property dealing tool is a specific joy; but away from the main supporters, the film is also crowded with an abundance of British faces that you will be able to recognise and even remember their filmography's, but most probably not be able to remember their names. 

Apart from perhaps the final showdown towards the climax of the film, which is a slightly convoluted and long-winded explanation as to why all of the strange occurrences have happened, making you wish for an ironic take on evil plans which would be akin to the villains intentions in Hot Fuzz, there are few faults to find here. Everyone involved have clearly had an insane amount of fun making this and it will transfer straight to the viewer. Here's hoping we will see the prodigal sons - Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost - assault genre cinema at least one more time.

* * * * ½

Monsters University

Where dropping LSD is a commonplace...

                                                              ...I told you

DIRECTOR: Dan Scanlon

CAST: Harry Burns, Walter Sobchak, Mr. Pink and some crazy old woman going skits at some drummers outside a theatre...

PLOT: Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan are back, but this time they are younger versions of themselves attempting to work their way towards graduating from the famous Monsters University!

I imagine that I wasn't the only person who had doubts when they heard the announcement from Pixar stating that they were going to make a prequel to 'Monsters Inc.', incidentally my favourite film from Pixar, telling the story of how the little one-eyed green dude met his big, blue, furry friend (submit your dirty euphemisms in the comment box at the end of this review). It's a prequel that I'm sure very few people were asking for and the amount of sequels and spin-offs coming out of Pixar at the moment is a worrying sign that they may be struggling to come up with new and original ideas. Perhaps it's time that they began to accept scripts from writers that don't already work for the famous animation studios?

However, any scepticism is quickly forgotten about in a mere amount of minutes into the opening of 'Monsters University'. The beautiful animation, bright and attractive colours, and the sheer inventiveness of this parallel universe to our own, full of weird, wonderful and wacky monsters is so immersive I just couldn't help but transform back into the excitable little shit that I was when 'Monsters Inc.' was released in 2001. 

When you think about it, if any Pixar film (except for maybe the 'Toy Story' franchise) is to spawn more adventures, this universe is the sensible and best choice. You have 'Sulley's' and 'Mike's' world, and then you also have our own boring world that supplies the screams - two destinations to find adventure. Also, the characters can look like any mental creation that the animators dream up. There's no rules and anything goes. This makes every shot rich and immensely interesting, as your eyes scour the frame trying to take in all of the slimy and hairy beings. And despite the fact that these characters are often covered in slime or hair, you still manage to see yourself in a few of them despite the fact they are monsters, as you notice the extras rushing to their exams, one with multiple eyes reading multiple books held by its multiple limbs, another with multiple limbs drinking multiple cups of coffee. Chances are if you have taken any exams in your educational life (and assuming you cared about them) you will be able to associate yourself with one or the other, maybe even both.

Which is a good job, because there are plenty of interesting characters to fill the shoes (if monsters even wear shoes) of your old favourites from the previous outing as they don't all feature again. And even then you'll still have fun spotting the cameos of a few familiar faces. New main characters including those of the fraternity are all lovable in their oddball way, a stand-out perhaps being the one who is, adults will spot, an obvious stoner; which continues to prove that Pixar caters to old'uns as well as children. And Helen Mirren puts in a great performance as the horrifying Dean of the university - a monster even the monsters are afraid of.

But it's still the brilliant voices of Billy Crystal and John Goodman that steal the show, which is not to be seen as a surprise. Their characters' relationship and chemistry is flipped over from 'Monsters Inc.' as they both rival each other, but the light entertainment is never lost and it adds a welcomed new dimension to the friendship that you thought you already knew.

                                   Shed the skin of an Oxbridge student and this is what you get      

Faults are few and far between, and they're quickly forgiven due to the fantastic quality of the film as a whole. The plot is a simplistic one which treads down familiar paths, but then again it is easy to forget that this is a film for kids. Plus, it's often hilarious, thanks to clever sight gags and glorious characters - full of heavy metal loving mother monsters (try and say that quickly), goth monsters and a nerdy Steve Buscemi monster - so who the hell cares?        

Plus, without the presence of 'Boo', we aren't really given a bridge between our own world and this fictional one. But in saying that, their world is a whole lot more interesting - so who the hell cares? 

After having a bad day, I soon forgot all about my troubles and once the credits began to roll I couldn't wipe the big stupid grin off my face. This is escapism at its very best and 'Monsters University' will be welcomed to sit alongside the marginally superior 'Monsters Inc.' We might still be hoping that Pixar returns to giving us more stand-alone titles in the future, but nobody can claim that this isn't pure Pixar. A wonderfully imaginative story with endearing and hilarious characters has always been the name of the game for them. This is monsters incredible.

* * * * ½

Man of Steel (IMAX 3D)

Man of Copper...

                                   Constantly turning around doesn't constitute as a performance

DIRECTOR: Christopher Nol- erm, no- I mean Zack Snyder

CAST: ME!, Micky Ward's girlfriend, that guy Eminem punched, The Postman, Russell Crowe fighting around the world, Paulette Goddard and the Silver Surfer...

PLOT: A reboot of one of the most universally famous superheroes, we go through the origins of Superman being Nolan-afied. 

I've never liked 'Superman'. It's difficult to begin as to why I don't. Firstly, how the fuck do we kill him? Not by shooting him in the eye, we know that much already. He's too... super. He hasn't got enough weaknesses, and thus we can't see ourselves in him. Bruce Wayne's parents are dead, Tony Stark's an alcoholic and prone to anxiety attacks and Peter Parker is a massive nerd. And all of them subsequently make far more interesting superheroes.

David S. Goyer also reminds us that he stands as a patriotic symbol to the US, especially with the ill-advised line "I grew up in Kansas, General. I'm about as American as it gets." So the US won't rest at westernising the Middle East? They can also westernise aliens as well; and end up using them as propaganda tools.

Oh, and I've always hated the disguise of a pair of glasses.

But due to impressive trailers, and Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan being on board, of course I had to sit up and notice. It gave me high hopes that the good sides of 'Superman' could be embodied in the film. Such as the positive message that can be given to people - that we can all be a superman and act bravely, no matter how small said act may be. 

However, with having the directors of 'Watchmen' and 'TDK' trilogy as the creative force of the film, it's obvious that 'Man of Steel' was going to be a lot more serious and darker than what we're used to. And this ends up being one of the film's biggest failings. The whole ridiculous premise of 'Superman' could be half-forgiven with the Christopher Reeve movies because they were camp and light-hearted. They knew that it was ridiculous. 'Batman' could get away with being more realistic (at least in a comic book sense). Superman cannot. 

Thus, what we are given is a joyless, po-faced origins story that drags on for at least half an hour and takes itself way too seriously. It's not helped by a hammy Michael Shannon performance as 'General Zod', who seems to spend most of his time turning around into a close-up, looking menacing and snarling direlogue such as "either you die! Or I die!" The amount of exposition and explaining of his evil plans doesn't make him anymore villainous either. Instead he just seems a bit pathetic and moany; an age-old bad guy who tells everyone what he's going to do, which of course means that we already know the outcome.

On the plus side, at least Henry Cavill was a convincing enough 'Superman'. His chiselled jaw, perfect hair cut and herculean body will probably make sure that he is blue tacked to a lot of teenaged girls bedroom walls. Other than that, he's not given an awful lot to do as 'Clark Kent', and is instead spending the majority of his performance pulling determined faces as talented VFX teams make him fight in bloated video game-like action sequences that last for far too long.

                                  He'd had a bit too much to drink at the work-do's fancy dress party

Considering that this is supposed to be an origins story, we don't really receive any new information or any different angles to what we already know. The origin is skipped past, and we only get glimpses of his childhood that look like they have been shot using Instagram; all of which that we have already witnessed in the trailers. 

In fact, the whole film is like a two-and-a-half-hour trailer. It never takes a rest to settle down on a scene and give any of the characters a quiet moment to develop. And because of this you find yourself not giving a shit about anyone involved. Even the unlucky ones of 'Metropolis' (basically New York) who are blown up for about 40 minutes of the film - something 'The Avengers' did better.

The moments that are supposed to feel epic thanks to Hans Zimmer's ear-assaulting score subsequently fails to resonate on an emotional or thrilling level. When so much is fitted into one text, it's hard to care and you'll begin to think about what you're going to have to eat when you get home.

One thing that definitely is missing - a bit of slow motion. The action is so quick that it's often difficult to know what is happening. And the hectic, hand-held style doesn't compliment the third dimension either (if you're desperate to give it a go, see it in good old 2D!) You'd be forgiven for not knowing that 'Man of Steel' was in fact directed by Zack Snyder, even though it is visually brilliant, but not groundbreaking. If you want a superhero film for 2013, you're best off giving Robert Downey Jr. your attention. 'Man of Steel' unfortunately feels as if Nolan has tried to turn 'Superman' into 'Batman'. It wants to be 'Batman Begins'. But after trying so hard, 'Batman' is still conclusively the superman of the DC Universe. 

* *  ½