Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

As dull as the name

                                                        "Maximum thrusters, Mr. Sulu!"

DIRECTOR: Kenneth Branagh

CAST: James T. Kirk, Decoy Queen, Superman's adopted dad, and Professor Gilderoy Lockhart...

PLOT: Based on the character by the late Tom Clancy, this reboot serves as an origins story for Jack Ryan (Chris Pine) - a marine turned analyst turned CIA agent who has to stop a Russian from destroying the US economy.


Jack Ryan is a fairy successful series, and this, the fifth film to be based on the character, is the fifth box office success, yet again grossing more money than what it costs. It certainly holds a strong fan base due to being a character from the late Tom Clancy, an icon when it comes to spy thriller literature. No mean feat at all considering this is the second successive Jack Ryan film to be a disappointing affair.

Firstly, Kenneth Branagh is a solid director when it comes to drama, and specifically the works of William Shakespeare. So it's no surprise that Shadow Recruit's action sequences are exhaustingly average and unmemorable. We saw in Thor how Branagh's direction is much stronger in slower, talky sequences that relies on performance and straightforward editing.

Secondly, Kenneth Branagh is a wonderful actor when it comes to a host of different roles, specifically in roles from the works of Shakespeare. His acting talent is barely felt as he mumbles in a monotonous Russian accent and keeps the same facial expression for one hour and forty five minutes. Branagh probably wishes to spread his wings, but honestly - he's better than this. His stereotypical Russian seems like something from a movie from the '80s when Russians were always the bad guy. Perhaps now the media portrays them all as homophobes it is their turn to be the villains of the world once again. Don't worry people of the Middle East, you can take a breather now.

Chris Pine, on the other hand, is fine as Jack Ryan. He may be a bit more metrosexual than the most successful Ryan to date, Harrison Ford, but Pine's effortless charisma and likability means that he does well with what he's given. The role, though, is a flawed one. The plot is messy when an analyst is thrust into being an active CIA agent who sees action without the proper training, and despite the fact that he used to be a marine, it serves as no excuse.

                        "I told you if you got lost to meet me by the building that looks like an ice cream!"

There are many questionable elements in the plot - why don't people kill one another when they get clear chances? Why not send a trained CIA action hero to investigate Branagh's big bad? Why is Keira Knightley so annoying? People will probably forget to question these flaws, though, because they are too busy scratching their heads, wondering aloud what it is that the Russian's are actually doing.

It's an intelligent decision to have terrorism of the economic kind to be the threat. It's relevant to the times we live in, constantly hearing news about double-dip recessions, foreigners apparently taking our benefits and politicians stealing money - why not tap into the public's fears? It helps to be understood, mind. When Kevin Costner's boss of Jack tells him to explain things to him as if he was an idiot, he should've mentioned it for the entire film. Using CIA and economic lingo for exposition doesn't make the film clever, and people shouldn't have to be spoon fed to understand an action film that is relatively low on action.

There are some minor saving graces - there's a strong restaurant scene where CIA trickery comes into play as Pine pretends to be a drunken buffoon, and a fight scene in a hotel room early on stands out as a shame because the best part of the movie comes far too early. You won't be surprised come the end, as conventions and cliches are ticked off throughout. An awful opening sequence of Jack Ryan watching news at the London School of Economics regarding a terrorist attack on America, culminating in an actor with an awful English accent apologising to him because he is American has the alarm bells ringing right away. However, due to the financial success, a Jack Ryan franchise seems like a strong possibility, but sequels will have to improve greatly if they don't want Tom Clancy's character to come across as a tired, boring version of James Bond.

* * 

The Wolf of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese - making jackasses seem likeable since the 1970s

                                                                          FINISH HIM

DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese

CAST: Jay Gatsby, Peter Brand, your new female obsession, that actor who used to be shit but is now really good, Hamilton Jordan, Shane from The Walking Dead, The Artist, the bloke who directed Iron Man, the bloke who directed Being John Malkovich, Eli from Boardwalk Empire and a fuck tonne of actors whose faces you will recognise with names you can't recall...

PLOT: Based on the life of the real wolf of wall street, Jordan Belfort, we watch his rise and fall as a charismatic, hilarious, drug-addicted, crooked stockbroker who stood up against the FBI, the forces of nature and the Swiss...

Martin Scorsese has a true talent in making his audience root for dickheads. Over the years he's manipulated us to fall in love with gangsters, murderers, loners and annoying kids that live in train stations, and he's managed to do no less with his latest offering, The Wolf of Wall Street, based on the memoirs from the real person. 

Right from the get-go we have to hold on tight in order not to fall off the bat-shit crazy rollercoaster that takes in copious amounts of drugs, alcohol, hookers and enough money to make your average Premier League footballer feel inadequate. We should hate this man, this physical embodiment of capitalism, who capitalises on other people's misery and shortcomings by only having one thing on his mind - making money - and to top it all off, doing absolutely nothing good with it apart from blowing it all on boats that can fit other boats inside of it and houses that could do the same.

But we do, and this is all down to Scorsese and Terence Winter, scribe of the film who's most famous for penning HBO's Boardwalk Empire. Scorsese's lightning-paced narrative that flies through a large portion of Belfort's life never gives us a moment to think in hindsight about how much of a repugnant man he is, despite the fact that it is three hours long, it never once seems to drag (prepare yourselves for a 4 hour cut that is reportedly to be released on DVD). Combined with Winter's witty and outrageous script that delivers some of the funniest dialogue imaginable, this is black comedy at its finest that gives a new meaning to 'cerebral palsy'.

                                                    Human bumblebee is displeased

But even Scorsese and Winter can't make a man who throws dwarfs around for fun someone who we want to spend time with for three hours. They need some help. And who else better to ask for help than a cast that can joke and charm their way into cinema history?

Leonardo DiCaprio may not win that Academy Award that he's been waiting so long for due to the fact that he plays a bastard, but he will go down as one of the most iconic characters in film. Love him or hate him, DiCaprio is stunningly realistic as Belfort - a likeable actor who oozes charisma and can get away with bad things much to the viewers glee. He doesn't quite have to descend to the emotional lows as his fellow nominees this awards season, but that shouldn't take anything away from this performance. DiCaprio does comedy as well as anyone. 

However, there are plenty of on screen supporters who almost takes the limelight away from the wolf, namely Jonah Hill as Belfort's partner, Donnie Azoff, who often comes across as even more of a cock than Belfort does. Hill's transformation, with his absurd hair and teeth, may have accepted low pay (in Hollywood standards, at least) for a chance to work with Scorsese, but after this he has once again proved that he is one of the most consistent and flexible actors working today, managing to balance comedy and drama perfectly, and not for the first time. 

The Wolf of Wall Street isn't your usual Oscar bait - it's far too crude and at times, downright disgusting, for any big wins. But judging by the fact that it's still selling out in cinemas nationwide weeks after release, Scorsese and company will be pleased that it will be many people's favourite this awards season, even if they don't receive a self-celebratory trophy for it.

* * * * *

American Hustle

And the Oscar for worst hair goes to...

                             Bradley Cooper embraced the Scouse culture when moving to Liverpool

DIRECTOR: David O. Russell

CAST: Batman, Rocket Raccoon, Lois Lane, Hansel the witch hunter, every man's current obsession, Louie, Boardwalk Empire's Richard Harrow and Eli Thompson, Will Jimeno, the Arab from La Haine and Jack Tiberius Byrnes...

PLOT: Loosely based on an FBI operation during the 1970s and 80s, a group of American hustlers plan on catching politicians partaking in acts of corruption.

How do you get people to root for dirty, lying, cheating, sleazy hustlers that con desperate people out of their hard earned, last dollops of cash? You get them to hustle dirtier, lying-er, cheating-er, sleazier hustlers... also known as politicians.

Because despite the awful hair, the monstrous fashion, and the inability to operate "science ovens", American Hustle is astonishingly more relevant today than it ever was. All over the western world, the media is dominated by expense scamming politicians taking money that doesn't belong to them and using it to build moats for their ducks in the back garden of their Eton mansions or whatever ever the frack they wastefully need to indulge on.

This is key to making our characters likeable, because if they were hustling anyone who was a smidgen more tolerable than politicians, then we wouldn't be able to support what 'Irving' (a pot-bellied, unfit Christian Bale - once again demonstrating his passion for acting with his constant extreme change in physique), 'Sydney' (a wonderful Amy Adams who should teach fellow American actors on how to perfect the English accent) and FBI agent 'Richie' (becoming an O. Russell regular with his recent career rejuvenation) were doing to their unsuspecting victims.

                                            I've... I've got nothing - this shot is just perfect

This gives room for our actors to perform to their filthiest and still be considered human. For all of the shit that they pull, even on the people that don't deserve it, it is veiled by the sublime performances by all involved, completely warranting the best actor noms they have been scooping up this awards season, and by an expertly witty script penned by O. Russell and Eric Warren Singer. For a film that could have stuck in the odd gunfight or elaborate punch-up, the makers always steer clear, and instead rely on their actors and their script to make a film that is essentially over two hours of talking. But for all of the talking, there are moments when you think that this could possibly make a strong television series due to still having to rely on an abundance of voiceovers that become overwhelming during the first act.

However, with so many prestigious directors seemingly turning to television, we shouldn't complain too much about O. Russell for sticking to the medium of film, else soon we'll have nobody left. To fit in so much exposition into the time constraints is a success in itself, as this film could have easily dragged on to the three hour mark. Yet despite fitting in so much story and dialogue, the pacing is always perfect, never rushing too quickly. Each character is given their moments, and the montage sequences are wonderfully constructed, helped out by possibly the best soundtrack of any film that is eligible for awards season.

It's not quite David O. Russell's finest film (many will still argue the case for Three Kings, The Fighter or Silver Linings Playbook), as sometimes the full possibility of the danger and threat that our characters are under isn't fully put across. And despite a film receiving so many nominations moving well clear of any accusations of being pretentious or showing off, due to the minimalist and standard approach of the cinematography and editing, there still probably won't be many complaints if the film loses out in the best picture category at the Academy Awards due to the amount of quality from the competition. But chances are O. Russell won't give a toss, because he's made another doozy of a film that once again cements his position as one of the most consistent filmmakers in the business today, and continues to attract the sort of casts that any film director could only wish for, despite holding the controversial reputation of being an arsehole on set. If being an arsehole makes you this talented, though, then sign me up.

Wait, what? I'm already signed up? Where's my talent then? Fuck this...

* * * * ½

12 Years a Slave

Django who?

                                 Solomon couldn't wait to blow out the candles on his birthday cake

DIRECTOR: Steve McQueen

CAST: Kinky Boots, sex addict, another name I have difficulty saying, Smaug, Rusty Ryan, the crazy bible basher from There Will Be Blood, The Rhino, Ellen Dolan and yet another name that I can't pronounce...

PLOT: Based on the true story of Solomon Northup, 12 Years a Slave tells the tale of a free black man living in 19th century New York who is kidnapped and sold into slavery.


Some filmmakers are often targeted for making films simply in an attempt to win awards. They have an emotional script that will strike a chord with panels and empathic audiences alike. They don't work on a massive budget, but they still manage to attract a lot of pristine and usually-expensive actors to star in the film. At the very least they'll receive a nomination, and from then on in all of their trailers they will be able to have the cool voiceover guy say "Directed by Academy Award nominated..."

12 Years a Slave is not that film.

And throwing it out there early on; to the many who simply brush this film aside as 'white guilt' (which doesn't make sense as it was directed by a black man): less of the ignorance and stupidity, please. If that sort of thinking was to be related to cinema, it would suggest that no filmmaker can tell a non-fictionionalised story of an important moment or event in history.

To think like this would be to discredit Spielberg's Schindler's List, Greengrass' United 93, even Eisenstein's Battleship Potemkin. Discredit every great war film ever made, for that matter, as it is this mindset that stems from schoolboy thinking - taking a huge, steaming dump on anyone who shows the slightest bit of passion about a subject.

Either that or you're simply a contrarian.

Away from the rant, though, 12 Years a Slave is a work of art across all aspects of cinema, and because of this, the horrifying story of Solomon Northup, and the atrocities that he faced that are reconstructed in unflinching scenes of pain and anguish, makes 12 Years a Slave worth watching. Many will struggle to stomach scenes that depict torture, such as whippings and hangings, but the beautiful cinematography from Sean Bobbitt, the stunning score from Hans Zimmer and the assured directing from Steve McQueen, maintaining a streak of truly fantastic films, pulls you in from the very beginning of the film and refuses to let you go, making sure that you fully immerse yourself in the emotional rollercoaster that plays like the anti Django Unchained.

                     "Instead of spending all your money on guns, maybe you should buy some tic tacs"

As well as the film having to defend itself against accusations of 'white guilt', McQueen has also had to defend the amount of violence and horror that is shown; the camera hardly veering away from the brutality. To have not made 12 Years a Slave as they had would have been trivialising the entire era of slavery in the US. Justice wouldn't have been fully done and it would have been insulting to people that identify themselves or have strong feelings towards the topic.

Which brings in the acting; which may very well dominate all of the plaudits, making it easy to forget every other aspect of the film. McQueen has often favoured the slow-paced, minimalist approach to many scenes in his three feature films to date, and this gives the talent the opportunity to show off their chops. When the performances have to take on all of the cruel doings and context - hurting each other and being racist to the point where the film is so convincing it becomes terrifying, you know the entire ensemble has, reluctantly in some cases, grasped the subject matter and the story with both hands and done justice to the epic biopic.

It would be unfair to pick out any one performance and hail it as the best, despite the fact that Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender have both, perhaps deservedly so, been winning over the critics. Ejiofor, a fine actor who will rightfully finally be given his fair share of roles in bigger, better films now, is graceful, determined and heartbreaking as Solomon Northup. Fassbender, a McQueen favourite, turns in another performance that highlights his shout as the best actor in the world right now as an evil slaver who tries his very best to make Northup's life a living hell.

But overall, each and every performance, including Paul Dano, Brad Pitt and newcomer Lupita Nyong'o, perfectly rounds this off to be a fully realised and satisfying masterpiece of cinema that goes to show the importance of film as an art form and how stunning a story can be when everything falls precisely into place.

* * * * *

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

*Exclusive hair perming not included*

                                          The botox had to be given some time to settle down

DIRECTOR: Adam McKay

CAST: Ricky Bobby, Burt Wonderstone, a Role Model, Dick from American Dad, Kelly Bundy, the hot one from Brick, Cyclops, Ruff Nut and Indiana Jones...

PLOT: The title of the film says it all really: we continue to celebrate the life and bask in the greatness of the best Anchorman who has ever lived - Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell).

There's an absolutely quality joke towards the end of Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues. It's by no means laugh-out-loud funny, but we understand the truth behind the joke nonetheless, as Ron Burgundy comments on the amount of saturation that the news is undergoing whilst he and his trusty news team is surrounded by a host of other news teams from different TV stations in a scene that riffs on the brilliant action scene from the prequel, managing to boast a whole load of outlandish cameos that would be a shame to spoil.

Ironic then, as the sequel to one of the most popular comedy films of this century sometimes walks the tightrope that risks falling into comic saturation. The narrative structure is a mess, the jokes sometimes rely on the prequel, the ensemble almost becomes overly convoluted. But Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's script, helped with a fantastic supporting cast, make sure that you don't give a shit, because, 'by the hymen of Olivia Newton-John', this is almost just as quotable and hilarious as the first.

And luckily, when there are jokes that riff on the first, they don't dwell on them for too long, or if you're lucky they end up putting a fun spin on them. Kristen Wiig's idiotic Chani, a love interest for Steve Carrell's scene-stealer, Brick, is possibly the only sign of the film that it can sometimes get bogged down with similar ideas; her character may have been funnier if she was a genius rather than simply a 'female Brick'; but for the most part this is a film that is full of new ideas but is still made up of the same ingredients but are thankfully presented in a different way. Any old joke that may seem familiar is there just to remind you of the awesomeness of the best comedy of 2004, and then quickly overshadowed by a brand new gag that will have your sides splitting.

     "This just in - the Empire has been defeated, and there are a bunch of annoying teddy bears celebrating"

There are many cast additions that will get the comedy ball rolling, including James Marsden of X-Men fame and the wonderful Meagan Good who is on the end of some wonderfully inoffensive racial jokes that highlight the ignorance of the era. Christina Applegate, despite given very little trailer time, still holds a relatively important role, helping the film out with the intelligence and feisty side. Yet this is still Ferrell's and his Channel 4 news team's gig, all of them relishing the opportunity to bounce oddball lines off one another to improvisational glee; it's fun to think that they probably had more laughs making it even though you're sat in a packed cinema-screen that is full of howling laughter.

It's easy to forget that when the first Anchorman was released in cinemas it wasn't overly welcomed by critics or audiences. But as DVD sales hit and TV deals struck, the cult success soon became a favourite amongst many. Anchorman 2 has had a much quicker start at the box office, and though it may not quite be the best comedy of the year, it's 'generally' positive reviews so far will probably once again reach universal acclaim as the years go by. Such is the joy in re-watching a film that has so many gags that you manage to catch some new ones with each viewing. 

To take Anchorman 2 seriously, just like the first, would be to do it wrong. The humour, as with any film involving Ferrell, is often surreal and for lack of a better word, stupid; throwing offhand quips at you by the minute to make sure that many of them will stick and land some laughs. But as with the first there is still a welcome amount of social and media satire, poking fun at an industry that makes its money from tragedy and destruction. It might not be subtle, but in a world full of comedy's with no message, it's refreshing to be given one - even if it is by someone who plays jazz flute and pays hobos to spoon with him. Ron Burgundy is very much like the North Star - wise men are going to want to follow it.

* * * *

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (IMAX 3D)

What does desolation even mean?

                                                Bilbo had no idea what it meant, either.  

DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson

CAST: Tim Canterbury, James Whale, Heinz Kruger, Jullian Assange, William Turner, Kate Austen, Aramis, Fernando Wood, Cheshire Cat, and a fuck tonne of dwarves including the annoying bloke from the Yellow Pages adverts...

PLOT: In the second Hobbit-y adventure, the fish-out-of-water, Bilbo Baggins (Freeman) begins to get his fins wet as he gets used to a journey of action, adventure and desolation on his travels to help a pack of dwarves reclaim the Lonely Mountain.


The wonderful thing about being lazy, choosing to watch the film adaptation before reading the book (if ever) when given the clear opportunity, is that it isn't obvious which scenes are bloated; none-the-wiser if a single paragraph from the source material takes up fifteen minutes of screen-time. If you are the opposite, though, why should you care? This is Jackson's take on The Hobbit, not Tolkien's, and the legendary New Zealand filmmaker will stay true to the novel where he sees fit, and most likely be greeted with plaudits and universal acclaim along the way. Rightly so, too.

For the second instalment of The Hobbit is superior to the first in almost every way possible. The action, danger and spectacle is bigger and better - you're not likely going to see a better action sequence than the barrels scene, with its long tracking shots and inventive combat, in quite some time. The story is quicker paced, yet we're never felt as if we are rushing through the story (and expectedly so with its two-hour-and-forty-minute runtime). And the fine cast are all beginning to fill the boots of their respected characters to a more confident degree - Freeman once again proves that he's the perfect choice, Richard Armitage sometimes threatens to steal the show as the brave dwarf seeking to regain his home, Ian McKellen, although not as busy as Gandalf the Grey this time, always manages to give a star-turn without fail, making it impossible to imagine anyone else reciting the line "it is undoubtedly a trap" with anymore brilliance, and time amongst the large group of dwarves is divided more fairly, with each and every figure of comic relief given their moments to shine.

But there's one standout character who everyone has been waiting to see, and that is the titular foe, the menacing, dangerous, and surprisingly charismatic dragon, Smaug. A better voice couldn't have been acquired for the self-proclaimed 'King under the mountain'; Benedict Cumberbatch's deep, low voice booms with threat and confidence, and as for the physical presence of the dragon itself - unbelievable. Weta Digital have truly outdone themselves and the moment that so many of us were waiting for didn't disappoint, made all the more impressive with the inclusion of IMAX; even if the first meeting between him and Bilbo did seem slightly overblown and repetitive, not quite surpassing the thrill and wonder of Bilbo's riddles with Gollum in the prequel.

             You may think yourself cool with a bow and arrow, but we're not forgetting that you're still ginger

If An Unexpected Journey was too light-hearted and friendly for audiences who yearned for another Lord of the Rings movie, they may take some respite from some added fire and flames. Although there's still barrels of laughs, there is a real fear of death, destruction and sadness, which adds a lot of weight to the narrative, but is still far from the sole reason that this is the superior Hobbit as of yet. That is due to the fact that Peter Jackson's vision has been slapped onto the screen in a beautifully vast and brilliant way, giving us the opportunity to get the feeling that we know a lot more about Middle-earth than we had done before, as Jackson showed further bravery by adding characters that weren't originally in The Hobbit novel, notably by giving Legolas some well earned awesomeness as he and the Elves dominate much of the best action sequences.

Although many will be frustrated with the sudden ending, it doesn't half build up the excitement for the next chapter of the tale, There and Back Again, set to be released in December of this year. It's a brave ending as Jackson probably thought it to be pointless to add needless duration to an already lengthy movie. It's anti-climatic and it's suited better that way, a cliff-hanger in the truest form, to remind us that there is still much of this magnificent journey to come.

* * * * ½

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Note to self - you can't catch fire... or throw it

                                  It wasn't long after this that the Nazi's fired their fashion designer

DIRECTOR: Francis Lawrence

CAST: Jennifer Lawrence (no relation), a load of men that aren't good enough for Jennifer Lawrence, one of seven psychopaths, the mother of JD's child, the head of Scientology, Kiefer Sutherland's dad, the pervert from The Lovely Bones, baboons, fog and blisters ... 

PLOT: It's the second adaptation in Suzanne Collins' immensely popular series of books, and with Katniss Everdeen (Lawrence) trying to get over the fun of the first film, she's invited (forced) back for more Hunger Games brutality when a selection of the previous winners are pitted against one another.

The biggest issue that the makers of the The Hunger Games: Catching Fire had to go up against was producing a different enough story than Gary Ross' adaptation of the first novel. It would have been easy to become The Hunger Games 2.0 instead of its own film by just showing another competition of predominantly adolescents offing each other whilst trying to keep the BBFC from losing their shit. Not only did Francis Lawrence make Catching Fire its own film, he made it the better film.

For the first half of the film's arguably overlong duration some viewers may feel agitated. Instead of watching the aforementioned competitors fighting to the death which took up the vast majority of the time in last year's prequel and became what it is now famous for, we get a wider exploration of the themes and the problems that mare the District's of Panem and are delivered an engrossing and compromising character study, including a further insight into a love triangle and dystopian social and political commentary that may not be subtle but is certainly most welcome. 

This is a franchise that has been conceived and birthed during the Twilight era but the important difference is that it has some added weight... and context, intelligence, heart, and overall genuine talent, really.

                               The Stig had to find another job after Top Gear's eventual cancellation

But as with the predecessor, despite the fact that the cast are all exceedingly impressive (even the worst Hemsworth brother is quite good), the biggest draw to the film is Jennifer Lawrence. She holds the camera and our attention with ease with her effortless likability and her flawless ability to throw herself head first into any role that comes her way. With any other actress, her character could come across as droll and joyless, but Lawrence's charisma and willingness to grasp the low key emotional scenes as well as the high-octane scenes so firmly has made it so that Katniss Everdeen has become her own beast, almost her own creation; if you read the novels now you envision Lawrence, and nobody would rightfully complain about that. 

As with the second half of the film, the actual Games themselves, it is a step up from the first. There are more challenges other than the enemy "tributes", a further reliance on teamwork and surviving against the elements, some of which when listed out on paper sound absolutely ludicrous but actually work out very well onscreen. The quality direction and cinematography, combining with the great performances, makes the Games a evermore growingly tense viewing throughout, with small hints that suggests which direction the emotional climax and the remainder of the franchise is going to go in, but is thankfully never too obvious for less active audiences. 

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is a much more confident affair than its prequel. The unstoppable force that is Jennifer Lawrence grabs the role with both hands and the overall arcing story of Suzanne Collins' novels can no longer be backhanded by the ignorant as a mere knock-off of Battle Royale. It's become much, much more than that. The next two instalments, the novel Mockingjay which is being split into two films, will be a further test to translate to screen, but with the sustained talent of everyone involved, there's no reason that this unlikely phenomenon cannot continue to take the box office by storm.

* * * * 

Gravity (IMAX 3D)

"Ground control to Major Tom..."

                                                 "Aaarrrgggghhhhhh- ooo, a penny!"

DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuarón

CAST: American middle-class woman that cares about black people and a man who stares at goats...

PLOT: During a spacewalk, Sandra Bullock's Dr. Ryan Stone and George Clooney's Lieutenant Matt Kowalski are detached from the Hubble Space Telescope after they collide with debris, thus kickstarting their struggle to get home.

Now that I've caught my breath, what follows is a series of words and grunts that will try and do justice (and probably fail) to not only one of the best films of the year, nor merely one of the best science-fiction films of all time, but one of the best films of all time. 

Alfonso Cuarón previously said, and it's unclear as to whether or not he was joking, that he wanted to actually make Gravity in space, but studios (rightfully) wouldn't take him seriously due to the cost and the possible dangers for the A-list duo. Something for the future, maybe? Luckily that doesn't matter for now, though, as you could easily be tricked into thinking that this was genuinely filmed in space. The first few minutes could even pose as a documentary - albeit a stunningly cinematic one.

Bullock's and Clooney's performances are both magnificent; true tests in what actors will go through to capture performances so realistic. Often having to act on their own, Bullock puts in the performance of her career, and Clooney is a safe bet as usual, the sort of charismatic and calm voice you would want up there with you if you were to put yourself in the same predicament. 

But despite all of this, Cuarón is the real star. His vision to create something so monumental is both audacious and inspiring; not many directors would have been so far-reaching, but if anyone was to pull it off it would be the amazing Cuarón, who went as far to invent new shooting equipment with his production team in order to recreate what was existing in his mind. The first ten minutes or so is one continuous shot that will be enough to make many a viewer feel queasy, and accompanied by the fantastic CGI, you will be drawn into the film from there on in. This is a technical dream that will confuse not only film fans, but also filmmakers, prompting head scratching and question asking.

And that isn't all. Cuarón also manages to make the most impressive 3D film, ever. James Cameron needs to take a shit on his own face after seeing this, because there is not a better film at utilising the third dimension to such awe-inducing effect. Even with almost $150 million short of Avatar's budget, Cuarón and his effects team has set the bar high and proved that 3D may not be a gimmick after all. If 3D films looked this good all of the time, then it would be the preferred medium to view films. I for one cannot imagine seeing Gravity in two-dimensions (in fact, I could live with never seeing it again, as a television screen at home will never live up to the same expectations). See it in IMAX if possible because it really puts the grand scale of things into perspective; there were times when I was so engulfed by the narrative that I could imagine myself to be up there with the astronauts, especially in the opening scene.  

                                                     "No, this isn't Ellen Ripley..."

Some viewers have gone as far to criticise the constant dialogue coming from Bullock throughout the film despite the fact that she is often on her own. Defense is due for Cuarón and his son, as this choice is the correct one. It isn't expositional, it's sometimes character development, but it's always to add further feeling to the film. Imagine yourself in the protagonist's position: on your own in space, trying to survive a mountainous situation, with nobody to speak to. It's only natural that you would constantly speak to yourself in a bid to keep yourself sane, to keep yourself from giving up. Most people speak to themselves every single day when they are alone and performing the simplest of tasks. If you're trying to survive a cataclysmic event in outer space, you're going to keep on fucking talking to yourself.

And it's this feeling of isolation that serves the film so strongly. Never has there been a film that has represented space as true (I would imagine) as this - beautiful, peaceful, and very frightening, dangerous and empty, which is further highlighted by no diegetic sounds of rubble and objects colliding, accompanied by an almost perfect score that is unfortunately, only now and then, a little too overwhelming, namely in the final shot. But there's no cutaways to Houston, no cutaways to loved ones watching news reports, no cutaways to Earth. We stay with our protagonist in every single shot; this is our journey as well. Show future astronauts this film and they may very well question their career choice there and then.

Everything about this film is brave: the performances, the technicalities, the use of effects, and the beautiful cinematography and camerawork that incorporates unflinching long takes and POV shots that exists alongside the third dimension perfectly. Cuarón and co. deserve all of the plaudits. Believe the hype. See this before it exits the cinemas, there is literally no other way to witness it. This is what cinema is made for.

* * * * *

Thor: The Dark World

"Oh, for Thork's sake!"

                                                             Brains... or braun? 

DIRECTOR: Alan Taylor

CAST: James Hunt, the Black Swan, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hannibal Lecter, Bootstrap Bill, Nelson Mandela, Doctor Who? and a pair of boobs...

PLOT: With Loki imprisoned for kicking seven shades of shit out of New York City, all seems to be well in the Nine Realms... until Christopher Eccleston's hideous Dark Elf decides to kick seven shades of shit out of the universe.

The second 'Phase 2' Marvel movie since The Avengers, Thor: The Dark World had a lot to live up to having to follow up this year's monumentally successful and entertaining Iron Man 3. With Kenneth Branagh, director of Thor's first solo outing, out of the realm and replaced by esteemed US TV drama director of quality shows such as Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, and err, Sex and the City? you would put your money on the franchise being in safe hands.

Aside from the irritating pair of boobs that is Kat Dennings, and the equally irritating score that accompanies the light-hearted scenes on Earth (of which there are a fair few), and the, at times, weak editing and pacing, Thor: The Dark World continues to do justice to Marvel's cinematic master plan, offering comedy (most of which comes in the final confrontation), impressive action sequences (of which we needed more of), and charismatic performances from the ever-reliable and enviable Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston (of which we can't get enough of).

It could have been a lazy, but safe bet, to simply have made this Loki: The Dark World, as Hiddleston's career-marking character does show up before Thor even does; but instead he serves as an intelligent narrative device, rather than the entire narrative itself. We await Hiddleston's arrival into the action-fold with excitement, but it doesn't come until the halfway mark. Unsurprisingly, once that halfway mark is hit, the film excels and gets a lot more interesting. At the end of the day, we couldn't really give a monkey's shit about all of the 'sciency' exposition that tries to explain fictional happenings, all we want to do is watch Thor hit people with a hammer, and Loki charm his way into subconsciously manipulating all of the male viewers to question (or cement) their sexuality for almost two hours.

                                                                      Hammer time!

Unfortunately, the other main reason as to why this Thor adventure doesn't quite live up to its predecessor, other than the Branagh's solid direction, is the villain. As with the majority of superhero films, the ones with the best villains tend to stand out. You don't watch The Dark Knight for Christian Bale's in-need-of-a-Soother Batman, you watch it for Heath Ledger's stunning portrayal of The Joker. 

And although Loki still isn't necessarily a stereotypical hero, his threat and presence as the main antagonist is sorely missed. Christopher Eccleston's hideous Dark Elf, Malekith, isn't given enough screen time and his motivations aren't as clear or interesting as Loki's engaging backstory. Malekith seems to wreak havoc for havocs sake. A villain that wants to destroy the entire universe lacks any hint of empathy and we cannot see why he would want to do anything that he does. You'll end up missing Loki's wise-cracking ways and fabulously evil costume.

Overall, the film is better when hammers are being swung and effects are being fully utilised, namely when we get to see a lot more of Asgard. Where Branagh's 2011 Thor was arguably better when people were talking and joking with its comedic fish-out-of-water story, this one often falls flat and is much funnier during the climax that gleefully dots around London and the rest of the universe. It seems as though the antagonist should have been given a more credible backstory instead of Hemsworth's and Portman's forced romance, and the strange love triangle that is born with it which doesn't even have its surface scratched. Had Eccleston's evil-doer been given the full works, and a more solid script that didn't feel as if it needed saving by Joss Whedon towards the end of production, this could have been one of the best Marvel films yet.   

* * * ½

Captain Phillips

'Captain Birdseye, do you copy?!'

                                                   "Wilson!!!!!- damn, wrong movie" 

DIRECTOR: Paul Greengrass

CAST: Woody, the slut who loves John Malkovich, and the best talent Somalia has to offer...

PLOT: Based on the 'true' events of Captain Richard Phillips being kidnapped by Somali pirates in 2009, this film offers us an insight into how the incident unravelled.


Unless you were living in a hole in 2009, or you more realistically just don't pay any attention to the news, you will probably know the outcome of this entire film, as is the problem with adaptations that are based on real events. But despite this, Captain Phillips is never short of suspense or excitement, as Paul Greengrass toys with your adrenaline whilst Tom Hanks simultaneously manipulates your emotions, both combining to create a fiercely effective storytelling duo.

Neither individual lets one another down. They are the main players, here to tell the story of bravery and resilience with a hint of social and cultural commentary in both the US and Somalia without being too preachy. Cynics may be worried due to the casting of Tom Hanks - an actor who's American as apple pie and a main player in the US single-handedly winning World War II (WITH NO HELP WHATSOEVER), but this is never played out as a gung-ho film trying to recreate Bourne-ish thrills out at sea, it is instead a contained thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

There's no urgent phone calls to the president, it's simply three parties - Phillips and his crew, the Somalian pirates (led by their brilliant captain and Somalian acting newcomer Barkhad Abdi, a dark horse for awards season), and the US Navy, whose importance isn't felt until the final act. There's no heroes and villains; much like real life it is just a story of two different men and their relationship during times of desperation, both of whom are at the core, fighting for survival. There's no dialogue to pander to its audience, Hanks doesn't try to convince his captors that they are the same as him. They're not and everyone knows it - different cultures, different backgrounds, different lives. Ultimately, though, one goal: survival.

And this is where the film really does excel. Nobody is demonised and nobody will question your morals if you at times feel inclined to side with the pirates. Their backstory, like Phillips', might be short, but it's all you need to see. They have to do this, regardless of whether they want to or not. Just as Phillips constantly tells his crew "everything is going to be ok", so does Somali captain, Muse (cool name). Thankfully Team America would never have to get involved in this situation, there's no explosions, no fantastical fist fights, or cheesy one-liners about who will be the victor. Everything is believable and plays as if this is exactly the line of events that happened in reality. Its realistic enough to make you sea-sick.

                                   "That boat is getting extremely loud and incredibly close"

Tom Hanks may constantly prove that he'd never lost form throughout the duration, reminding us that he's still one of the best actors in the world, but it's important to remember that the man behind the camera is just as important during Captain Phillips. Greengrass directs with a real sense of urgency, putting you right on the decks or inside the lifeboat, providing you with a suspenseful cocktail mixing excitement with terror. As Muse tells Phillips that he doesn't want anyone to get hurt, we pray that he's telling the truth.

With all biopics, there is always going to be controversies. There will always be people telling different stories and denying the events on-screen. Regardless of any of this, Captain Phillips stands as one of the best films of the year, signifying when two of the most talented and exciting individuals in cinema teamed up and made sure that there wasn't a dry eye in the house as the overwhelming journey leaves you gasping for air.

* * * * *

Filth

It's the sound of da police...

                                                        Fun for all the family

DIRECTOR: Jon S. Baird

CAST: Hippy Professor Xavier, Billy Elliot, a Jew at the world cup final, funny name Poots, village of the year obsessive, Moaning Myrtle and Billy Elliot's dad...

PLOT: You'll be asking how Detective Sergeant Bruce Robertson (McAvoy) ever got this far in his career during the adaptation of the same name from Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh, chronicling the efforts of the filthy, STI riddled, inhumane, hallucinating, immoral pig as he heads a Christmas-time murder investigation whilst attempting to cheat his way to a promotion.


Anyone that knew absolutely anything about the source material before the film was released wouldn't have been blamed for scratching their heads regarding the casting of the immensely likeable James McAvoy as the protagonist(?) of this potentially mental-scarring film for anyone whose mettle isn't up to the test of seeing a supposedly respected police officer blackmailing an under-aged girl into giving him a blow-job and then criticising her technique and comparing it to a "cheese-grater".

That morally obscene event happens fairly early on in the film and it doesn't get any sweeter when exploring the seedy sides of Edinburgh. But for people whose only knowledge of the film before the viewing is only that of the trailer and a short synopsis, you may be surprised to find that Filth also has a more serious dark edge to it, as all of the injustices are met with equally downbeat and harrowing repercussions.

This isn't simply a straight-up comedy watching McAvoy get his kicks from harassing witnesses and his co-workers (a superb cast featuring Jamie Bell and his on-screen dad in Billy Elliot, Gary Lewis), using copious amounts of cocaine, and indulging in hardcore pornography and erotic asphyxiation; it's also a dark and demented exploration of a broken human spirit being haunted by terrifying hallucinations and a frightening Jim Broadbent as his bulbous headed doctor. In one scene you will be keeling over with your sides splitting, in the next you will feel guilty as the phenomenal James McAvoy (quickly becoming one of the most exciting and unpredictable actors in the world) picks at your emotions and molests them one at a time and, against the expected style of the film, genuinely makes you feel for a complete wanker.

And it's a good thing that Filth director Jon S. Baird and McAvoy succeed in doing this else the film would be borderline unwatchable, apart from those that are literally affected by nothing. It could be clever marketing, but more than likely completely coincidental, that its release came so close to World Mental Health Day, because if it wasn't for the consequences and the justification of evil acts and exploring Sergeant Bruce Robertson's tortured soul, this film would merely exist to provoke with bad taste. The only better time that this film could have been released would have been to mentally scar your Christmas this fall.

                                                       Merry fucking Christmas

Aside from the dirty plot, this is also a terrifically made film, shot brilliantly giving a Hollywood-like feel to proceedings. Some may wonder why the cinematography was given the glossy treatment instead of taking on a more gritty visual style, but it could be read as Robertson's highly perched ego constantly giving himself more importance and credit than he deserves. Accompanied by a fantastic soundtrack which bi-polarises the subject matter, it all gels together perfectly. Albeit with a strange, disgusting gel that you wouldn't want to touch despite its ability to intoxicate.

Don't be surprised to see fellow audience members making their way towards the exits early on. Even if your resolve is tested too, do stick with it, as this is more than just crude behaviour, graphic sex, and Scotsmen swearing, it's much, much more than that.

* * * * ½


If my blog is not giving you enough of a movie fix, then maybe you should check out the Take3 podcast, in which myself, John Brown, and James Conibear discuss film news and reviews - check it out for free on SoundCloud by following the link below:

https://soundcloud.com/take3-podcast/03-10-13 

Prisoners

Not starring Wentworth Miller, Vinnie Jones, or Morgan Freeman

                                        Jackman had just watched Scrubs for the first time

DIRECTOR: Dennis Villeneuve

CAST: Van Helsing (lol), the Prince of Persia (lol), an actor from There Will Be Blood, Little Miss Sunshine and Looper (respect), black actress of the moment, the original War Machine, the new Evelyn O'Connell, and Mickey Ward's mum...

PLOT: When the BBFC's opening warning begins with telling you 'this film includes themes of child abduction', you know you're not in for a skip in the daisy field. In a remote US town, 'Keller' (Jackman) and 'Franklin' (Terrence Howard) have their daughter's kidnapped. With little faith in 'Detective Loki' (not Tom Hiddleston; Jake Gyllenhaal) and the rest of the police force, we see first-hand what depths father's will drop to in order to find their loved ones...


  
With the digital age and infinite knowledge and anticipation of the future directly at your fingertips, these days it isn't often that a film that you know very little about comes out of nowhere to completely blow you out of your shell. Despite the fact that the director is relatively unknown (not for long, surely), the calibre of acting talent on show would suggest that this would be many cineaste's one to look forward to of the year. Other than the odd recent trailer I had no idea of the film's existence. And due to the film's seemingly bland title (which will become more appropriate as the film rolls on) I had no intention of seeing it because of the false belief that it would be yet another conventional 'whodunnit' thriller that luckily managed to nab a few great actors with a high pay cheque.

But thanks to rave reviews and hushed Oscar buzz making Prisoners a dark horse for awards season, I thought I'd give it a shot and was subsequently shocked to the core in the best possible way. It opens in relatively recognisable fashion, introducing the families, the themes of religion and masculinity, and applying sound character development to let us know that these are neighbourly folk living a simple life in a remote little US town.

However, things quickly turn sour and the two young girls go missing, and from there on in you are hooked, wrapped around the little finger of Villeneuve and his brilliant cast, and just like that you are along for the ride. Albeit a long ride, it's the sort of narrative involving characters that are layered enough to warrant a television series, but instead, and thankfully due to the quality, this is a film that may be long, but it is never boring. You forgot to take a piss before the showing, you're two hours in, half an hour to go, and your bladder can't seem to hold out. Don't worry, your brain isn't letting you go anywhere - you'll sooner leave a puddle on your favourite seat at your local cinema.

There is only one moment in the film when it feels as if the story is going to peter out and lose its hard-hitting hook that occurs roughly three-quarters of the way through. But the film is quickly and expertly rescued and it soon dawns on you that the slowing of pace was used as a narrative device. Kudos to the fine acting, especially from Gyllenhaal who will struggle to ever top this career-cementing performance, for making sure that you don't lose faith before the powerful and gut-wrenching final act.

                            Gyllenhaal was desperately looking for a product that would tame his hair

One of the most impressive things about Prisoners is its balance within understanding. Many crime thrillers fail with the narrative, either being too simple that it bored audiences or too complicated that it angers and disengages audiences. Prisoners instead manages to ride the fine line directly in the middle - nobody that is actively viewing the film will be lost, yet nobody who believes themselves to be a genius and a film addict will feel that the plot spoon feeds them.

Prisoners puts the word thrill into thriller. When you see quotes such as "Edge of your seat stuff" on a DVD case, they're often lying. The following is not a lie - this is literally edge-of-your-seat stuff. There will be many a moment that you struggle to breathe and holding on for dear life. Most mystery thrillers you work out maybe halfway through, but this has you clueless right up to the final few scenes. You find out when our protagonist's find out. That's not to say that the conclusion doesn't make sense, or that the clues weren't there. They were just dealt with so well that we had as little of an idea as 'Detective Loki'.

This is also helped by the technical aspects and the execution of the film. The cinematography is beautiful in the bleakest way imaginable. The rain hammering down onto the ground, the murky, filthy locations, the detective with his own demons - it all rings true of old film noirs and it works a treat. It may be missing a femme fatale and characters chain smoking, but Prisoners is what it is, and instead utilises certain looks and feels if and when it chooses.

But at heart this is also a character study. As mentioned there is the religious and masculinity-obsessed father (Jackman), the job-obsessed detective with demons in his closet (Gyllenhaal), and the weird, ugly, child-obsessed suspect (Dano). You think that you'll know all of these characters, and you probably do. Yet you won't know them in the way that you think you do. Let the battle for shelf decorations commence!

Prisoners is by far the surprise of the year, and it is doubtful that any other film will come out of nowhere like this one and punch you in the brain and the heart in such a violent fashion for quite some time. If you're British but still consider Django Unchained a 2012 film, it's very difficult to look past this as the film of the year so far. This will stay with you long after the opening credits and then some. You will feel exhausted and overwhelmed; as if you've just stepped off the best rollercoaster in the world.

Perfection has never felt so seedy.

* * * * *

Elysium

"Where are the fucking prawns?"

                                                     'Maybe I should grow my hair...'

DIRECTOR Neill Blomkamp

CAST: Zoo owner, Clarice Staling, and South African "Howling Mad" Murdock...

PLOT: After getting a full blast of radiation poisoning, 'Max' ("Matt Damooooon") decides that he must get to a medical bay to cure himself of said poisoning. The only issue is, said medical bay is on a spherical space station inhabited by the rich that absorbs Earth named 'Elysium'... said.

Expectations were obviously high for Neill Blomkamp's follow-up to the critically acclaimed 'District 9'. These high expectations were then escalated when the explosive trailer for 'Elysium' arrived and promised more thunderous action sequences, selfish intentions and vague political commentary. All of the above were certainly delivered, but not quite to the same standard as 'District 9' treated us to. This doesn't seem as adventurous or fresh, it instead touches on formula in an attempt to appeal to more mainstream audiences. But some films will never be bettered, and when you could argue that Blomkamp perhaps peaked too soon in his directorial career, if you remember not to compare the two films, which can be quite difficult, then you will have a wholly enjoyable time at the cinema.

But despite aiming for a wider audience, with the lack of a verite filming style and a score that often rings out like 'Inception', what I was thrilled to see was more accounts of extreme violence and exhilarating action sequences with wonderfully destructive futuristic weaponry from Blomkamp, something he thankfully can't seem to leave behind. The violence is at times unflinching and quite shocking, usually delivered to us by the thorn in Matt Damon's side - the brilliantly deranged Sharlto Copley as a mercenary named 'Kruger' on the hunt for Damon's mechano-man. Copley is the purest sort of evil; an example of complete psychopathy that has no reasoning behind it. Whenever he's on the screen the tension and the excitement is turned up, anticipating awesome action and brutality. Jodie Foster's villain is child's play in comparison, despite being satisfyingly pretentious.

However, despite the fact that you will probably root for Copley, that's not to say that Damon doesn't deliver a good performance. As always, he's exceedingly likable and can handle himself well in the fight scenes, which will come to no surprise to 'Bourne' fans. It's a new look for Damon - with the slap head and a lot more stacked than the leaner 'Bourne', but this is your typical reliable Damon performance. His character doesn't have the most surprising arc throughout the narrative, but sometimes keeping a character's story simple is as good as applying complicated motives - the fight for survival is the most primal and important to anyone.

                                                      'Maybe I should get a haircut...'

The socio-politcal messages are thin, probably so as not to alienate too many viewers. The rich vs poor is spelled out, but other aspects could be read into more - such as the fact that inhabitants of 'Elysium' mainly speak French, and inhabitants of LA speak a lot of Spanish. But 'Elysium' is here for the fun - how else can it not be when your favourite character will be the deliciously evil 'Kruger'? Much like 'Elysium' itself, this serves as a fantastic joyride of escapism. 

Everything combines to make this a satisfying science-fiction romp; but what really stands out is Blomkamp's impressive visual style, some of which will remind of 'District 9'. It's dirty and dusty, making the futuristic Los Angeles look like a frightening realistic mix of Rio de Janeiro and his birthplace of Johannesburg. Blomkamp manages to keep most of the techniques and aspects intact that made 'District 9' a modern science-fiction classic. 

'Elysium is a much more formulaic and generic outing from Blomkamp, but it never lacks talent, excitement and entertainment, cementing him as one of the most promising directors about today. It might not be the best film of the year, but it's certainly one of strongest blockbusters, adding a lot of heart and a bit of brains to the summer's cinematic proceedings. Plus, how often do you get to root for a villain who is as purely evil as Copley's 'Kruger'?

* * * *

Kick-Ass 2

"Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?"

                                                 You came to the wrong porno, friend

DIRECTOR: Jeff Wadlow

CAST: Aaron Taylor-Johnson's roid-rage, future Carrie, emo McLovin, Ace Ventura, Hot Tub Time Machine guy, a different guardian, racial "archetypes", Sid the Sloth, Turk with a lisp, the dude from the best episode of Black Mirror, a different Todd :(, Ser Jorah Mormont, Chuck Liddell, and Union fucking J...

PLOT: In the sequel to the psychotically fun Kick-Ass, the titular DIY superhero attempts to get to grips with life as a crimefighter, whilst Hit-Girl attempts to get to grips with life as a regular girl in high school. Meanwhile, Christopher Mintz-Plasse vows to get rid of all of the superheroes as his alter-ego - The Motherfucker.

When news broke that Matthew Vaughn wouldn't be directing the sequel to one of my all-time favourite films, I wept. Not literally of course - I'd already done my fair share due to the demise of Big Daddy. It seems to be a trend with the brilliant director. He makes a cracking film and then ditches the resulting franchise to start another. The X-Men franchise is comfortably in the safe hands of the proven Bryan Singer, but would the future of Kick-Ass lie in promising hands? 

Well, we were given a lifeline as Vaughn was allowed to choose his own writer/director for the project. 'Brilliant!' we were all thinking, 'surely he'd pick a terrific director - someone who he holds in high regard!' You can imagine our frustration when he chose the man whose last film before Kick-Ass 2 was Never Back Down - Jeff Wadlow.

Never fucking Back Down. 

It was important not to be too hasty, though - let's not be prejudice. Never Back Down may have had as many layers as a two-dimensional shape, but when it came to people punching each other, it was well-crafted and confident action filmmaking. Perhaps with a decent screenwriter, he could create something that could live up to Matthew Vaughn's deluded masterpiece. 

Jeff Wadlow was also named as screenwriter... shit.

And that's unfortunately where Kick-Ass 2 often falls flat. It's still got some fantastic one-liners and wickedly offensive humour - it's not often that you get to hear the word 'cunt' in Russian. But it's all of the talking in between the insults and the ass kicking that is tiresome; the exposition is flat and laboured, often repeating itself with many of the messages recited to us in Kick-Ass' first outing, and the use of voiceover even manages to outdo the predecessor when it comes to laziness. 

This runs parallel with a plot that is thin and uneven, the pacing miles off the snappy first film that managed to hit all of the right notes. This outing frequently manages to merge too many scenes into one mess, not helped by its convolution with too many characters (something that can be forgiven in the source material) and two stories that are competing for screen-time and quality - Kick-Ass' life as a superhero, Hit-Girl's life as a teenage-girl in high school.

It's definitely the latter that wins us over. This is very much Hit-Girl's show and Chloe Grace Moretz continues to take cinema by storm, often giving acting lessons to much older, more experienced actors. She's endearing and electrifying as everyone's sweary little girl, but now she's growing up she is burdened by the ever-lasting interest of bullies and being attracted to the opposite sex in high school. You're constantly egging her on to kick the shit out of everyone who crosses her in the corridors, but due to conflicting promises and needs, it doesn't come that easily to her, making her the person that we care about. She composes the emotional beats despite the fact that the film never hits the emotional heights as the first Kick-Ass which Nicolas Cage's Adam West spoof gets "owned".

The cinematography is too bright, sugar-coated and fake; looking as if it could expose its green screen behind the foreground action to reveal that the New York backdrops are, shock-horror Mr. Carrey, fake! This is probably due to the surprisingly low-budget ($2 million below the first Kick-Ass), considering the first was a successful hit. It could be argued that it's attempting to go for a comic book style, but why fix something that isn't broken? The first Kick-Ass nailed the colours, the look, the feel. This overboard fakeness highlights the two-dimensional story - deaths aren't fully felt, they're merely shrugged off as inconveniences by the time that the next scene has come around; there isn't enough repercussions when something doesn't go our heroes' way (Kick-Ass' girlfriend is conveniently dismissed earlier on, and despite how hot she is he couldn't give a shit!); and there are plot holes, such as David Lizewski (Kick-Ass) and Mindy Macready (Hit-Girl) discussing the importance of keeping their superheroic identities secret... whilst sat in the back of a taxi. 

                                       Jim Carrey being violent, whether he wants to or not 

But if you're watching this for masterful storytelling and award-winning cinematography, then you're certainly doing it wrong. The sooner you realise the quality of this piece of filmmaking isn't going to better what Matthew Vaughn can create, and you begin to relax, the better. Because I seriously doubt that anyone involved in Kick-Ass 2 gives a fuck. They don't care - the filmmaking might be well-below par, but it's almost as fun as the 2010 hit.

At a glance that still might not appear complimentary, but when you consider how much mind-blowing awesomeness and fun came with the first Kick-Ass, almost hitting the same level is still a reasonable achievement for Wadlow and company. The action is wild, over-the-top and full of gore. Despite no scenes living up to scenes from the first film, such as Hit-Girl destroying everyone via night-vision, or destroying everyone to the tune of Bad Education, it's still some of the best action and the most mental experiences you could ask for in a cinema this year.

However, despite all of the enjoyability from Aaron Taylor-Johnson's likability, Chloe Grace Moretz's charisma and Christopher Mintz-Plasse's magnificently named, gimpish supervillainy, there are some aspects that this film cannot mask. The addition of Jim Carrey's Colonel Stars and Stripes, replacing Nicolas Cage's Big Daddy as the father figure to our inexperienced heroes, is short-lived and criminally underused. He never poses the same threat or intrigue as Nicolas Cage managed in the predecessor.

And certainly worst of all, is the music. It's not bad, by any means. It's just generic at times, and lacking the quality of the soundtrack we were treated to by Vaughn. There's no Elvis, no Prodigy, no Joan Jett. We instead get Union J. It may have been used as a slightly amusing narrative tool, but that doesn't really give anyone the excuse to assault our ears with Union J. The audience's adrenaline will never rise to the glitzy heights of Kick-Ass fighting thugs with Omen blazing in the background.

However, despite all of the bad aspects, you will be sat there with a semi-insanical grin on your face as you watch the wackiness unfold. It's still got bags of energy and enthusiasm which will transfer itself to the audiences. Just try not to compare it to Kick-Ass too much, else the negatives will seem greater and you'll instead be wishing to watch the predecessor throughout the duration (as soon as I got home, I whacked it on). With talks of a third now that the comic books are being released, it's difficult to see where this franchise will go. A spin-off for Hit-Girl, by far the best character, would be the best option. Whatever happens, I'll be looking forward to it, but with a slight anxiety.   

* * *